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| One of Tammy and Tad's engagement photos from a session at Disneyland. Brian Boing is the photographer. |
My pseudo-cousin/long-time friend is getting married in September. I recently received a bridal shower invitation for her upcoming nuptials and the places they were registered were included. (I say, always thoughtful to include a registry - as long as "the bride" doesn't include it - aka - it's OK for the host to include the registry - and ONLY to a shower - NEVER EVER a wedding invitation). It makes it so much easier to know what to get the couple and then you know that they actually WANT what you're giving them.
Anyways, back to the pseudo-cousin. So she registered at the usual, Crate & Barrel but there was also a little note stating that they had registered at honeyfund.com. Honeyfund - is a GREAT IDEA! Since, Tad and Tammy (the couple) know that they are going to be honeymooning in Greece, and as they graciously explained in their honeyfund page that they had "been blessed with already owning the essentials that every new couple needs", if I'd like to give a gift, they'd appreciate a gift for their honeymoon. On the site I can purchase admission tickets to a tour, partial airfare, a bottle of champagne, a romantic dinner, taxi fare, etc. After purchasing you have the option of sending a check to the couple, giving cash to the couple or paying via credit card/paypal. It's such a wonderful idea! Tammy said that it also helped them set their itinerary for the trip.
On the subject of gift-giving, what's with people not giving wedding gifts? I looked up wedding etiquette concerning gifts at www.theknot.com and basically it advised that you should always give a gift, even if the person receiving the gift now, did not give you a gift. It also did say, "cut her some slack, maybe she was low on cash at the time of your wedding...". That excuse works - if you are IN college or JUST OUT of college, but not when you have a "career" and a "mortgage" and you "own a car". These three things suggests that perhaps you do have the funds to give a $10 gift card at least - heck, EVEN A congratulatory card. Others would say, (and I can appreciate this opinion) that just having the guest there celebrating with the couple should be enough and that it's not about the gift. To the people that think that - I'm pretty sure you'd be miffed and would make a mental note that I didn't give you a gift but sure did enjoy your open bar and the dance floor and even got a second helping of the dinner and cake.
I recently heard of a man who says and lives by this "I don't give wedding gifts. I just don't. I don't expect people to give me a wedding gift and I don't ever plan on getting married." Well, buddy - I'm pretty sure the wives of your friends have made a mental note. Technically a guest has one year to give a wedding gift. I know of some people who give gifts post-wedding, sometimes judging how much fun they have at the wedding as a money-guide to how much they'll spend.
I do think that a wedding gift is an opportunity as a guest to "thank" the couple for hosting me and allowing me to celebrate their special day. A lot of thought and effort and sweat and tears goes into a wedding. And let's be honest, a lot $$$ goes into a wedding, from the invitation to the table linens to the flowers. Isn't the wedding worth at least a cookie sheet or bathmat?
2 comments:
I used to try to go w/ the registry, but now I am a straight cash giver. I think since the economy, that is all people really want and people I've talked to are like "if anyone asks, just say money, but we still registered anyways."
Chulie - just wanted to say thank you ma'am for our wedding gift :) G and I didn't have a registry...we were both already out on our own so we had double of everything (and in some cases triple of everything). Instead we asked guests to donate to some of our favorite charities. That honeyfund website definitely is a great idea though.
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